I need to keep remembering: when I hear someone I know say something fatphobic, they say these kind of things because they hate themselves/their appearance.  They wouldn’t point out other people’s “flaws” if they didn’t feel bad about their own bodies.  I am trying to be sympathetic because I know how insidious internalized oppression is, especially around body image.  But sometimes I am so amazed that an oppressed person would use divisive, judgmental language  on other people and not even see the very thing that is right in front of their face–that this judgementality comes from their own internalized self-hate. AND, what’s sad for them is that they don’t seem to know that all of the thinking, empowered, mature people around them can see right through their comments to this internalized self hate.

It’s kind of pathetic that we can all see it but you can’t.

Everyone knows you hate yourself–you announce your self-hate every time you put someone down as a joke to make yourself feel better.  It’s gotta suck to go through your day, everyday, hating your body.  The comments are mean and shallow, which make me mad, but I am also trying to be compassionate because I know you are also hurting inside because you aren’t loving yourself.  And I know you are in pain, torturing yourself, never happy with your beautiful body.

So, instead of getting mad at their ignorance, I’ll practice patience and sympathy.  I’ll try anyway–it’s kind of hard when the rest of the dominant culture constructs reality in such a way as to socialize people to think their self-hate is “normal.”  Getting mad only hurts me, and I want out of this cycle of self-image-abuse pushed upon all of us by patriarchal, white-supremacist culture and it’s mouthpiece, the mainstream, corporate media that has inserted itself into our lives.

I don’t want to be mad at your shallowness, instead I want to help you heal your self-hate. Is there anything I can do to help you love yourself?


~ by Angela Rhetorica on May 22, 2011.

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