Douchebaggery That Dares Not Speak Its Name

So, Lindsey Lohan finally “came out.”  I know, I know…who gives a shit?  While I am always mildly excited when another celebrity comes out (at the very least, every time someone dons the “homo” label, a whole bunch of fans  are forced to re-think their views); I am also f*cking irritated that the gender of who someone falls in love with is considered “news.”  “News” as in “out of the ordinary.”  For the queers among us, we all cheer a little because, well, our recruitment tactics worked and we got another one on our team.*
In the press coverage I have seen, the “Is Lindsey Gay?” and “Who’s Lindsey’s Crush?” shite, I could tell the press didn’t know exactly how to write about it.  The fact that Lindsey isn’t the diesel dyke stereotype that gets exploited in mainstream media must be confusing to their li’l peon brains.  The “liberal elite media”** still functions at the intellectual level of a horny 7th grader desperate to be cool, but now we know they love them gays.  They love us ’cause we sell papers, and because we are taking over the entertainment industry.  OH SNAP!
So while this “breaking news” is about as interesting or relevant to sexual politics as the famous Madonna/Britany/Christina kiss, at least we know that everyone’s talking about us.
Here’s the link to one article discussing Lohan and her now not “secret lover”:
http://omg.yahoo.com/news/lindsay-lohan-opens-up-about-her-relationship-with-samantha-ronson/15219?nc

*If you did not sense the sarcasm of this sentence, you are a dumbass.
**The media is not liberal, douchebag.  That’s why I put it in quotes.

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~ by Angela Rhetorica on November 12, 2008.

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